the oscars were last week
The Oscars were last week and Chloe Zhou became the fist ever asian woman to win best director. I don't know the woman, I haven't watched any of her work—and yet i look into her eyes and I see myself. "We can be there too", I think. But not necessarily holding a trophy or making a speech, but imagining something and then having people believe, trust and respect you enough to make that thing happen.
To even imagine how much work it takes to run a film set, most especially one of their caliber, I'm scared and overwhelmed and quickly doubt. The first thing that I do when I see someone great and accomplished is search up their age, subtract my age from theirs and proceed to tell myself that I only have x amount of years to prove myself, to be considered a success, to make my mark.
Often times, this equation leaves me disheveled. Worried that I don't have enough time, struggling to see how the me of now, will ever amount to the me I'd like to see myself be in the future.
But ever journey begins with a little step. Maybe Chole's career began with her writing down her thoughts just like this. One journal entry, which turned into a script, or a movie idea, or a pitch to friends for a potential short film. I don't know the road she walked, but she paved the way, that's for sure. Not just for me, but many others that struggle to see themselves succeed when everyone that seems to be "successful" doesn't look like them.
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”
*note to self*
enough with the thinking “i don’t have enough in me”. because, well, you don’t have to argue that—you’re right. you don’t have what it takes, hannah. but you serve the ultimate Creator and He has enough in Him to work through you. so you need not worry, child…your Father is the coolest Director there is and He wants nothing but to share all He knows with you.
